Not Violent: Leading Without Force or Fear
"For a bishop as God’s steward must be blameless—not arrogant, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not violent..."
—Titus 1:7
Leadership comes with pressure.
Sometimes that pressure reveals patience—and sometimes, it exposes power struggles.
Paul, writing to Titus, continues his list of qualities that should define a spiritual leader, and once again he brings it down to ground level: “not violent.” In other words, don’t put men in leadership who use force—physical, verbal, emotional—to get their way.
Because leadership in God’s kingdom doesn’t look like domination. It looks like gentleness under control.
What Does “Not Violent” Mean?
The Greek word used here is πλήκτης (plēktēs), which means:
“a striker,” “one who hits,” or “one who lashes out”
While this clearly refers to physical aggression, it also applies to a broader pattern of behavior—bullying, intimidation, threats, and harshness. Paul’s concern is not only with fists, but with forceful hearts—leaders who try to control through fear rather than by the example of Christ.
Why This Matters in the Church
Violence doesn’t always show up as bruises. Sometimes it’s in the tone of a voice, the manipulation of emotions, the silencing of dissent, or the refusal to allow questions or feedback. It may hide behind spiritual language, but its fruit is fear, shame, and control.
Jesus never led like that.
The Church, as the Body of Christ, must be a refuge, not a battlefield. Its leaders must not just know sound doctrine—they must embody sound character, especially when it comes to how they treat others.
And this isn’t just a modern concern. It’s embedded in the earliest expectations of Church leadership.
“Authority is exercised legitimately only when it seeks the common good... and is exercised as a service.”
—Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1903
The Gentleness of Christ
Jesus had every reason to assert His authority. And yet, He never forced Himself on anyone. He didn’t manipulate. He didn’t strike. He didn’t intimidate. He invited, He listened, He wept, He healed—and He laid down His life for the very people who betrayed Him.
As He Himself said:
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart...”
—Matthew 11:29
True Christian leadership reflects that heart. Gentleness is not weakness—it is the strength to serve when you could dominate. It is restraint. It is peace in the face of pressure. And it is required for those who would lead God's people.
A Word for the Wounded
If you’ve ever experienced spiritual abuse, manipulation, or the sting of a leader who used force instead of grace—please hear this:
That was not Christlike leadership. And it was not okay.
You were made for peace, not pressure. For safety, not fear. For community, not coercion.
If you've been on the other side of this—if you've used force in ways you're not proud of—there is still a way forward. The Catholic tradition offers sacramental grace, reconciliation, and the possibility of renewal. God can restore leaders who are willing to repent and be reshaped.
Final Thoughts
Paul knew that the Church cannot be built on bullying. Not then. Not now.
So when he tells Titus to avoid violent men, he’s not being cautious—he’s being pastoral. Because the world already has enough leaders who dominate. What it needs—what the Church must embody—is a leadership that heals.
Leaders who don't strike.
Who don’t threaten.
Who don’t manipulate.
But who look like Jesus.
Reflection Questions:
Do I use pressure or persuasion to lead others?
Have I ever confused boldness with harshness?
What would it look like for me to lead more like Christ—gentle, humble, and strong?
