Lead Yourself First: Paul’s Word to Young Men
"Urge the younger men, likewise, to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be criticized..."
—Titus 2:6–8
Compared to the detailed instructions for older men, women, and even slaves, Paul’s guidance to young men in Titus is strikingly brief—but that brevity is intentional.
He says one thing:
“Be self-controlled.”
At first glance, it might seem like Paul’s selling young men short. But actually, he’s cutting to the heart of the matter.
Self-Control: The Battle Young Men Must Win
Paul isn’t minimizing the challenge—he’s naming it.
Young men often struggle not with knowledge, but with impulse. Not with passion, but with direction. Self-control is the foundation for everything else—purity, discipline, leadership, humility.
If a young man can’t control his words, thoughts, habits, or emotions—then no amount of talent or knowledge can compensate.
“Like a city breached, without walls, is one who lacks self-control.”
—Proverbs 25:28
Self-control isn’t weakness. It’s strength under surrender. And Paul knows that the gospel doesn’t just offer forgiveness—it offers formation. And it starts here.
Lead by Example
“Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works...”
Paul shifts from “urge them” to “show them.”
He’s speaking directly to Titus now.
In other words: young men don’t just need instruction—they need examples.
Paul wants Titus to be a living template of what integrity, consistency, and conviction look like.
In a world full of noisy influencers, Paul says:
“Don’t just talk about godliness—embody it. Let your life be the proof.”
Teach with Integrity
“In your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech...”
For any young man in a position of influence—whether in ministry, leadership, parenting, or just among peers—this matters deeply.
Your words carry weight. Your tone sets the temperature.
So Paul says:
Speak the truth (integrity)
Carry yourself with honor (dignity)
Let your words be solid, not slippery (sound speech)
This kind of man can’t be easily dismissed. His life and words back each other up. And in today’s world of performative faith and surface-level spirituality, that kind of authenticity is radically needed.
So That No One Has Anything Bad to Say
“...so that any opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us.”
Paul isn’t asking Titus to protect his ego. He’s asking him to protect the witness of the Church.
Young men, your life either strengthens the message of the gospel—or undermines it.
You’re not too young to matter.
You’re not too young to lead.
But first—you have to lead yourself.
Final Thoughts
Paul’s instructions to young men are simple, but they’re not easy. In fact, they may be harder than all the rest.
Because what Paul is really saying is this:
“Don’t wait to become a godly man someday. Be one now.”
You don’t need a platform or a pulpit. You don’t need a title. You need discipline. Humility. Integrity.
You need the gospel at work in your habits, your speech, your relationships, and your private life.
The world is desperate for young men like that.
The Church is desperate for young men like that.
Be one.
Reflection Questions:
Where do I most need to grow in self-control right now—time, thought life, speech, or emotion?
Do my life and words reflect integrity and dignity?
Who is watching me—and what kind of example am I giving them?
